12 Things I Learned in University Outside of Class
And some advice
During my undergrad, I realised reflecting on “what I’ve learned” has less to do with an academic setting and more to do with the wisdom and teachings of a lived experience.
Ever since graduating from the University of British Columbia, I’ve received ample time to reflect profoundly on the previous four years of my life. Of course, I’d also like to thank COVID-19 for that.
In no particular order, here’s what I’ve learned in university outside of class:
1. Don’t leave your pots unwashed — especially if used to make oatmeal
Don’t do it. Don’t. Do. It.
I know how tempting it can be to leave an unwashed pot out in the open after making yourself oatmeal or stew. It isn’t worth it. It isn’t worth the effort of having to scrape off the dried, stubborn, stuck bits of food on the pot — even when you’re starving and the last thing you want to do is clean up after yourself.
My advice: wash it straight away or, preferably, let it soak in warm water until you finish your meal. Then, come back to it and wash it thoroughly.
2. Culture shock & homesickness are real
I came from a small school of around 300+ students from Kindergarten to Grade 12 in the Philippines. In my senior class, we had a total of 26 students. I knew my classmates, students in other grades, all my teachers — from Grade 2 until I graduated, this was my reality. Everybody knew everybody, or at least, heard of them. Sometimes I felt like my every step was watched.
So when I officially set foot on UBC’s campus, I was filled with excitement to be independent. I made new friends, socialised, went to large lecture halls, got lost. This is it! I’m finally an adult. I told myself.
But after a few days of this “honeymoon stage”, I started to feel this sickness in my stomach. I started resisting what my current reality was and yearned for my past; the laid back tropical life where everybody knew everybody. I started noticing small things that were different from home — like how big the campus was, how much colder and dryer the air felt, and (what seemed like) the stressful process of knowing what and where to recycle. At the same time, I started feeling like an unimportant, minuscule part of the community. I lost a strong sense of belonging because I didn’t know where I belonged. I felt like I was everywhere and nowhere, and I wasn’t “fitting in”. I felt alone.
I never thought I’d experience culture shock and the extent of missing home so much. What helped me through it were: 1) Accepting my feelings, 2) giving myself time to adjust to my new environment (without expectation or a deadline), and 3) making time to connect with my family.
3. Read the breakdown of your student fees + what your insurance covers
There’s nothing that screams ADULTING like reading the breakdown of costs. The first time I saw the difference between an international student’s fees and a domestic student’s, I was in complete shock. Holy shit, what you pay in total for one term is what I pay for one course! I told a Canadian friend. After finding out, I wanted to see the full breakdown of where my money went.
That’s when I gathered: what you pay per term/year doesn’t only go towards your courses. Although this is specific to UBC (and maybe international students), it may also be applicable to you. There are small fees that go towards clubs, recreation centres, and services. Larger fees ($120+) go towards transportation and extended health insurance which covers certain visits/amounts to dentists, optometrists, therapists, etc. This is part of some students fees and you pay for them regardless of whether or not you use them every year. My advice: look at what is covered and use them. Get your eyes checked. Get acupunctured. Go to therapy.
Also, it was not until my third year I found out I could use UBC’s Aquatic Centre for free. Don’t be like me; get a head start and use the facilities as much as you can.
4. You need to floss daily
Look, I know you didn’t book an appointment with your dentist today but I cannot not bring this up. I feel so ashamed whenever I talk about this, but I didn’t floss daily for about 2 years (unless I felt like something was stuck in between my teeth).
Then one miraculous afternoon I felt called to make an appointment with a dentist. It was only then I found out I had four cavities. FOUR !! CAVITIES !! One of them was close to needing a root canal. Reason being: complete lack of flossing.
Now, if I had not known I had extended health care, I would have paid $900+ for them to be fixed. But I only paid around $80. So, once again, there is merit in knowing what your insurance covers.
5. Start saving & get versed in finances
Even if you have a student account, you can start a savings account in which you put money and it garners interest over time. Some banks require you not to touch the account (meaning you shouldn’t move money out of it) otherwise you’ll lose the accumulated earnings, but other banks don’t. Although interest rates are very low (1%-2%), it’s still a good practice allocating a certain amount of money towards an account per month/couple of months.
You don’t know when there’ll be an emergency or if you need to buy something. And even if that doesn’t happen, it’s never too early to start saving for your retirement. It sounds funny, I know — but it’s always good to think ahead and plan for your future (even, or we can say, especially when things seems uncertain). If you’re like me and find excitement in the smallest of things, getting a notification saying $0.06 was deposited into your account from interest can be quite the thrill!
6. Learn beyond Land Acknowledgement(s)
It all started after listening to someone say “We would like to acknowledge that we are situated on the traditional, ancestral, and unceded territory of the Musqueam people” for the 10th time. I heard it every day during Jumpstart (at the time, UBC’s two-week program to introduce students to university life), and during Imagine Day (first day of classes). That’s when it hit me: this is something really important to know.
Over time I’ve learned more about what “traditional, ancestral, and unceded” means and the history First Nations and Indigenous Peoples have lived through (are still living) in Canada. During my childhood, I was rarely informed about Indigenous tribes of the Philippines. Issues of the past seemed to “stay” issues of the past. So it was quite a shock to witness an institution giving recognition to a population that was “part of its past”.
But the past is still very much alive when it comes to issues such as colonialism. Although we may not be part of populations that experience [a history and reality of] oppression, it is still important to educate oneself on where we stand and our role(s) in reimagining and building institutions rooted in compassion, equity and inclusion. It is important to decolonise ourselves and then go on to decolonise our systems and institutions.
7. Connect with your professors
Having a relationship with every teacher in high school was important for me — whether it be to learn from them, receive guidance, or simply, for words of assurance. Although difficult in the beginning because it seems as though professors have “no time” for you; they actually do.
Maybe this is specific to my university experience, but every single professor I’ve had emphasised their desire of getting to know students and what brought them to take the course (hopefully other than “it was mandatory”). Some professors even set up coffee chats outside of class. They enjoy it when students take the time to express feedback, appreciation, and being seen as a person — unless it’s that Gateman dude everyone talks about and either loves or despises (this is hearsay; I never took his class). These relationships also allow more fruit to grow: whether it be a larger network, letter of recommendations, opportunities, or simply a beautiful friendship after you graduate.
8. Take care of your mental health
I’ve never talked nor had a conversation about mental health before coming to Canada. I’d see posters about it, but the words and ideas weren’t digested by my system. I don’t think it was until I learned about anxiety in PSYCH101, and much later when I realised I had developed an eating disorder, that I finally understood the importance of mental health.
UBC frequently communicates (now more than ever) that everyone has mental health. Every November, they celebrate Thrive — which is a month-long commitment to informing students ways they can better their mental health. However, as much as UBC can invest in these campaigns for their students, it’s also in the student’s interest to be receptive to these messages.
Taking care of one’s mental health comes hand-in-hand with self-care. Instead of always bombarding yourself with ideas like always needing to study more, or believing “sleeping is for the weak”, or numbing yourself to your pain through different [unhealthy] coping mechanisms, shift your focus onto answering “What are practices I can do for myself that ease my distress and help me feel grounded?”
Although it requires time and reflection, this also provides the opportunity to get to know yourself better and create a healthy relationship with yourself.
9. You get to choose your friends
Again, growing up in a small community meant people knew quickly if drama existed. It was, perhaps, one of the things people looked forward to — gossip. Truly a form of entertainment. If I had beef with another girl and she didn’t want to talk to me, it created a chain reaction of uncomfortable, awkward situations.
But in university, it’s completely different. You don’t need to be friends or have a relationship with someone just for the sake of it. You can choose to have healthy, emotionally mature (or immature, depending on where you’re at lol) relationships that serve you well and make you a better person. Relationships where you feel nourished and encouraged exist, and that’s where university helps you realise the kind of people you want to surround yourself with. That doesn’t mean you will never outgrow the friends you choose today. Sometimes you do, and that’s okay.
10. Difficult discussions are necessary
Communication and listening will not always be easy. Whether it is someone expressing their disappointment in you, or openly communicating one’s needs, or someone pointing out something you did (or said) wrong for valid reasons, these discussions, although difficult, are necessary. That doesn’t make them any less needed. There are many things we, collectively, have to talk about. It’s all on a spectrum from topics like the importance of boundaries and teaching your kid how not to be a rapist, to combating climate change, discrimination against BIPOC and LGBTQ2+ (marginalised) communities, the humanitarian crisis in Yemen, and violence in the DRC.
They aren’t going to be easy; there will be people who want to stay oblivious and/or people who are too into what they believe is right. In order to accept truth, understand realities that aren’t our own exist, and be willing to change in order to serve what is right takes a lot of energy and time. It’s okay to take it step by step, day by day. Although one can feel easily overwhelmed and disheartened by facts and the “things we need to do”, we are also on our own path, going at our own pace. But it starts with choosing to partake in a conversation and listen.
11. Rest is an integral part of productivity
In my freshman year, every day had to be a productive day. I had to have at least 5 hours of making my notes pretty, doing homework, and studying — on top of the 5+ hour class days (because that’s right, I grouped my classes on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Friday). Basically, I was pursuing being able to say “I had a productive day working” every day.
It was tiring. My routine was tiring. I burnt out frequently and looked like a zombie with the dullest of skins. It took a long time to accept that rest is not apart from productivity, but it is a part of being productive. Giving yourself intentional time away from work to breathe and play — to simply let your mind rest — is healthy. Having the “go go go” mindset leads to frequent burnout and a substantial decrease in energy and liveliness.
With regards to people who have that “go go go” mindset and still look like a functional human? Trust me, they know how to prioritise rest and integrate it into their routine. Also, that’s not their every day and they probably have days they have little to no energy.
12. You get to define success
University is filled with thousands of students. There will always be smarter, fitter, more popular people than you. I know that can be a shock to the system — it was definitely an electric shock through mine.
But this is where you have the autonomy; you have the power to define what success means for you. Is it being on the Dean’s List continuously? Is it creating meaningful connections? Is it co-founding a club that advocates for a cause you’re passionate about? Is it playing for your university’s varsity team? Is it doing your best and seeing where that goes?
You get to define what success means. Your university experience is yours alone.
I highly recommend making success a series of steps instead of an end goal, so you’re not always chasing after one momentous thing but finding purpose in the process. But please, don’t make success out of your reach at the expense of your happiness and wellbeing. You deserve to be successful whilst joyful and in good physical, emotional, spiritual, and mental health.
Want to hear what I learned during my exchange to the University of Melbourne? Watch here.
